Monday, June 29, 2015

Before i go to bed.
Attempting to sleep.
I thought i would talk you.
The people of the world.
I don't know how many of you people are in a deep relationship.
And what i mean by that is that marriage will soon follow.
But since i was a little girl i was taught that love is valuable.
And limitless.
I was told i could love anyone i wanted.
I dreamt about growing old with various people.
It didn't matter.
It didn't matter what sex i chose.
I always ended up happy.
So from a very young age i was very accepting to all kinds of love.
realizing that love is not determined by a man and a women,
I knew that love was deeper than that.
More complex than what we were being taught.
Growing up like this lead me to believing everyone had the right to spend the rest of their lives with the person they loved.
And have it be official.
Legalized and protected.
It took me time to realize others views.
I took the time to try and understand their reasoning for denying people these rights.
But for the life of me i could not understand it.
Much Less agree to their views.
I found it bizarre.
That people could fear the legal recognition of peoples love.
it didn't make sense to me,
That people had to fight,
Fight for their love and their rights,
I supported them.
I voiced my opinions.
I helped the fight for love.
Now i do believe we have won,
This date will live on in history.
For on this date love was recognized.
In the United States of America.
Love is now recognized and protected.
My friend can marry his boyfriend.
My friend can dream about marrying her crush legally.
My friend can marry her girlfriend.
This is a new age.
Powered by emotion.
Now i bid you all goodnight,
And i hope you all rest well knowing that you can love who you please.
And grow old with who you love.

Nobody likes to miss something.
Because that means that, that something is not with you. 
Whether it was taken from you.
Or you simply lost it.
It hurts. 
Missing something hurts. 
Because the thing you need is not with you. 
Some people feel guilty for missing something. 
Don't you ever feel guilty. 
Missing something means that you cared about it enough to miss its presence.
It means that, that thing wad important to you.
And missing that is nothing to feel guilty about. 
The pain of missing something is great enough it does not need help hurting you with guilt. 
Remember that , that thing you are missing was important. 
Don't try to forget it, whatever it may be it brought you joy. 
Forgetting what brought you joy, will not help you. 
Recognizing that you will no longer have that in your life is important. 
Physically that thing will not be there when you want or need it.
That is a fact. 
A sad fact. 
Never the less it is gone. 
It will not be there for you physically. 
That does not mean you will never feel that joy again.
That joy was important. 
Don't forget it.
Memorize it. 
What about it made you happy.
Take the time to memorize all of the small little details.
That once made it special. 
This time is vital.
Remembering what mad you happy is vital. 
There is no shame wanting to hold on to something. 
Those memories will be important to you. 
You will probably dwell on them. 
Thinking them over.
Altering them. 
Making them so they keep making you happy.
Although that this thing is gone. 
And will not return. 
Does not mean they are forgotten. 
And does not mean that they cant keep making you happy. 
Missing something is human. 
Never feel shameful for missing something. 
It brings you joy.
Joy is how you move on. 
Holding on is important. 
Although recognizing that moving on with out that thing is also equally important. 
When it comes down to it.
There is no need to pretend that this beautiful memory never happened. 
Remembering is holding on. 
There is no shame in that.

Here we go. 
Its a Monday,approximately 1:01.
And i told you yesterday that i would try to talk to you about something very frightening.  
A human creation. 
That has evolved over time. 
Into this monstrous template, that we are told our lives have to conform to.
We are told that if we want to be valued, if we want our opinions to be valued. 
Then we must conform. 
This conformist lifestyle is drilled in to our brains from the time we are born. 
Our parents wanting to protect us from the cruelty that follows when we do not conform.
All they want for us ios to be happy. 
But when you have to choose between your happiness and others happiness. 
I choice my happiness.
And if that means defying society.
Then so be it. 
You should never be afraid.
When it comes down to it. 
Then choose whatever makes you happy.
And if that means breaking the uptight rules and regulations of this terrifyingly controlling society.
Then go for it. 
Break down the limiting walls of the society that keeps you chained up.
break free.
And show society what it means to be yourself. 
Society is a scary place created by scared people. 
Trying to bring order and organization to life. 
But you can not limit or control life. 
Life is yours.
Not a society that requires you to be someone built to perfection.
Never feel limited.
Never feel like you are being controlled.
Youre not.
You decide what you want to do. 
And do it.
Society maybe scary.
But you are in control of it.  
Change society to your criteria. 
Its your life. 
Your decision. 

Sunday, June 28, 2015

I couldn't wait.
I wanted to continue talking to you.
All of you.
People of the vast world.
Immensely complicated.
Clearly simple.
Dreams tend to confuse us and guide us, all at once.
People claim that dreams are signs.
Signs that warn them.
Show them the way, leading them.
Reassuring them.
Dreams comfort us.
we adore them.
They can fill us with deep joy.
Letting us experience things that we may never get to do in reality.
Showing us new realities.
That we could not fathom when we are awake.
For when we are awake we are in society.
Society is a discussion for yet another meeting.
 During my fourteen years of life i have learned that there is an escape from reality.
A simple solution really.
Day dreams.
One of the things that brings me joy in my life.
Day dreaming allows you to slip in to your own reality.
I for one, can not stand the majority of people i interact with on a daily basis.
Many i am sure are wonderful people.
In fact i am positive that they are grand people.
But their company at that moment is simply not wanted, much less needed.
En thus a daydream in sues.
Daydreams are a thing of beauty.
They allow you the simple pleasure of being alone.
Even when you are in a crowded society.
So, the next time you find yourself wishing you were somewhere other than where you find yourself.
Then all you have to do is simply dream.
Your imagination is vast.
complex and intellectual.
I am positive that you can create something of comfort to you.
Just think.
And dream.

What a beautiful thing.
People want it so badly.
It comes easily to many.
And rarely to some.
I am one of those people.
I unfortunate group.
The group that hopes for a goodnight sleep.
Sleep is a simple pleasure.
It makes us feel good.
To some sleep is an inconvenience.
Time consuming.
And overly demanding.
It is a constant need.
If people want to be productive sleep is vital.
Valuable even.
People are usually much kinder when they are rested.
Sleep is one of those sick circles.
We hate it because we feel we miss out.
We crave it, because life drains us.
I have a question.
If sleep is vital to being a functioning human being, then why is it practically impossible to fall asleep.
Let alone dream.
Well dreams are another story.
Full of unimaginable beauties and deep mysteries.
A discussion for another time.
I bid you all a good night.

Well look at that 11;02pm on a sunday night.
Any other normal person would be sound asleep by now.
Lucky for you, i am of course not what society deems normal.
If i was i certainly would not be writing this blog.
I am in fact a teenager.
Which means very little sleep is required.
This allows me a plethora of time to dwell on things.
Someone who will remain anonymous, told me this year that i was powerful.
I greatly doubted them.
I mean i am not physically strong, never have been never will be.
And my mental strength is dismal in comparison.
So this prompted me to ask why this person thought of me as powerful.
They answered.
this is what they told me.
People think  that vocalization is the only way to win a fight, i believe that our power is not determined by our voices but by the power of our thoughts.
I took what they said in to very heavy consideration for a moment.
Keep in mind that this person knows me very well.
They know me better than anyone else does.
They took the time to memorize me.
So i had no doubt when i realized what they meant.
They wanted me to use my brain and my written word to change something.
The something that i am going to change is yet to be determined.
But they saw something in me.
They knew that i was powerful.
They also saw that i had a purpose.
They could see that i didn't realize it, till now.
I came to an assumption.
Powerful people, powerful yes, but they can not make a change, But powerful people who know they are powerful, well those people are unstoppable.
So here i am trying to make a change using my mind.
I have been told that we are all here because we have a purpose.
I have also been told that my purpose is to change something.
Here i am.
Making a change.
So what is your purpose.
Maybe you don't know yet.
I know that i am still testing the waters of mine.
This may not be all of what life holds for me.
But i intend to found out.
And help people along the way.
That is why i am writing this all down.
I am here.
I am here for you.
This is my journey of experiencing life and leaving my mark.
But you are welcome along for the ride.